


shiver deep inside

by laminy



Series: set my alarm, turn on my charm [4]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 20:44:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17926037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laminy/pseuds/laminy
Summary: As they get ready for the Oscars together, all the boys wonder (and worry) about what happens to their friendship now that theBohemian Rhapsodychapter of their life is coming to an end. Ben and Gwil head back to London together, tired and hungover, to figure things out.





	shiver deep inside

Ben briefly knocks on the bathroom door before pushing it open, catching Gwilym’s eyes in the mirror before Gwilym turns to him, working shaving cream over his face. 

“Can I help you?” Gwil asks, smiling at him.

Ben shrugs and walks past Gwil, then pushes himself up onto the counter, watching him. “Just lonely out there.”

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” Gwil asks, grabbing his razor.

Ben shakes his head and leans back carefully against the mirror, watching Gwil start to shave.

“You alright?” Gwil asks, gently moving the razor over his skin, eyes flicking back and forth between watching what he’s doing and watching Ben.

Ben nods slowly, keeping his eyes on Gwil. He doesn’t really feel alright, not entirely, but he also doesn’t know how to say that to Gwilym. He doesn’t want to bring him down with him, not today. “Yeah, good,” he says softly. He sighs, settling back against the counter, and just watches Gwil shave. He’s disappointed, really; the beard burn took sometime to get used to, but then he got _really_ used to it. He’s going to miss it.

Gwilym cleans off the razor and wipes off the remaining bits of shaving cream and dries his face. He takes a couple steps until he’s between Ben’s open legs, and he reaches out, holding onto his waist. Ben reaches out, clasping his hands behind Gwil’s neck, reluctantly meeting his eyes. “You alright?” Gwil asks again, pressing him for the truth.

Ben nods, but leans forward, pressing his forehead against Gwil’s chest. “No,” he admits quietly, and Gwil wraps his arms around Ben’s back, pulling him in.

“You wanna talk about it?” Gwil asks, and Ben just shakes his head. “I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“You _do_ know what’s wrong,” Ben replies, looking up at him again, “I’m just the only one being a goddamn baby about it.”

“No, I imagine Joe is crying, alone in his hotel room right now too,” Gwilym says, and Ben just barely cracks a smile. “I’m not happy about it either, you know.”

Ben nods and straightens up so he can pull Gwil in closer, resting against him. “I don’t want it to be over. I feel like as soon as we get on the plane tomorrow, it’s all over. That’s it. I don’t want it to be.”

“Nothing’s over,” Gwilym assures him, but he understands completely what Ben is talking about. He feels it too. Everything has been leading to this weekend, to this _day_ , and soon enough, it’ll all be done. It’ll go by like a blur and then it will be gone. He and Ben are going home together, to figure out what a life looks like when they’re not flying back and forth from California to London every few days for award shows; Gwil’s looking forward to it more than anything, but he also understands that means they’re leaving a lot behind. Gwil takes a deep breath and kisses the top of Ben’s head, pulling back a bit. “If we want to be on time you’ve gotta start getting ready.” He steps back and offers Ben his hand, helping him off the counter. “And I’m not being late to the Oscars on account of you, so get your ass in gear.” He swats Ben on the ass and Ben laughs loudly, stumbling out of the bathroom into their room. It’s Gwil’s room, technically, Ben’s is next-door, but there was no way they weren’t sleeping together.

“Fine, fine,” Ben mutters, but he sits down heavily on the bed instead, ignoring the garment bag that’s holding his suit.

“I’m getting Allen and Joe in here to hurry you up,” Gwilym says, grabbing his phone to send off a quick message to the group chat. Gwilym tugs off his t-shirt and pushes off his sweats, stepping out of them, walking over to his garment bag, unzipping it.

“God, you’re handsome,” Ben says from the bed, and Gwilym is smiling brightly as he turns around, pulling on his suit trousers.

“Is that so?” Gwilym asks, taking his shirt out of the bag next.

Ben just smiles and nods. “I’ll get dressed in a sec, I’m just taking in the view first.”

“You’re gonna be changing in front of Allen and Joe if you don’t hurry the hell up,” Gwilym says, fingers moving quickly over his shirt, buttoning it up.

Ben laughs softly. “Fuck ‘em, they can wait in the hall. I wanna see you in your suit first. Just to myself.”

Gwilym grins and shakes his head, but he pops his collar and grabs his bow tie, sliding it around his neck.

“Wait,” Ben says, pushing himself up off the bed, hurrying over to Gwilym. He smiles up at him and gives him a quick kiss, before he starts working on the tie.

“I can tie a tie,” Gwilym says, looking down at Ben.

Ben just shrugs, giving him another smile. “So can I.”

Gwilym leans in and kisses him softly, Ben’s hands stilling for the moment. “I love you,” he says softly against Ben’s mouth, and Ben nods, kissing him back.

“I love you too,” Ben replies, and he finishes the tie, stepping back to get a look at it. He straightens it a bit, and then beams up at him. “Beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Gwilym says.

“I was talking about the tie,” Ben smirks as he starts to walk towards the closet, and he laughs loudly when Gwilym wraps his arms around his waist, tugging him back in. “You’re going to make me late!” he says between laughs, half-trying to pull away from him, but also content to just stay in his arms.

“Oh, _please_ ,” Gwilym says, nipping at Ben’s neck, “you’ve made yourself late. Now I’m punishing you for it.”

Ben twists his neck to look back at Gwil, biting down on his lip. He leans in to give him a kiss just as there’s a frantic knocking at the door. Ben groans and Gwilym reluctantly lets him go. Ben walks over and pulls open the door.

“What’s that about being _punished_?” Allen asks, giving Ben a wink as he walks by him into the room.

“Jesus, how thin are these walls?” Ben mutters to himself.

Joe looks Ben up and down as he walks past him. “Alright, I like the look,” he says. “A bit casual maybe, but I get it. Avant-garde.”

“He’s late,” Gwilym says, and Ben glares at him as he shuts the door.

“I’m going to get changed now,” Ben grumbles, walking by them to grab his garment bag from the closet. “Gimme a sec,” he says, walking into the bathroom.

“Doesn’t he have his own room?” Joe asks, smiling at Gwilym as the bathroom door closes.

“I imagine they just use it for a spare bed when this one gets dirty,” Allen replies, and Joe starts laughing so hard it’s hard for Gwilym to not join in, as shocked by the joke as he is.

Ben gets dressed slowly, trying to take it all in. It’s his first Oscars, god knows when the next time he’s invited will be. Maybe never, with his luck. He takes a deep breath, adjusting his tie around his neck. He’s about to start tying it, but then he stops. He walks to the door, tugging it open just a bit so he can speak. “Gwil?” he asks.

“Please do not fuck in there, _please_ do not—” Joe says, but Gwilym just playfully pushes past him, waiting for Ben to step back and open the door.

“What’s wrong?” Gwil asks, looking down at him as he shuts the door behind him.

Ben smiles. “Just wondering if you could tie my tie,” he replies, swallowing nervously once he’s asked. Maybe it’s dumb or cheesier than he thought, but Gwil just beams at him.

“My pleasure,” Gwilym replies, and he makes quick work of it. He straightens it a couple times, and then turns to the mirror. “How’s that?” he asks.

Ben looks in the mirror and studies himself quickly, then nods. “Perfect,” he says softly, and he reaches out to take Gwilym’s hand, squeezing his fingers gently.

“Need me for anything else?” Gwilym asks.

Ben shakes his head, sliding his jacket out of the bag, tugging it on. Gwilym inhales sharply, and Ben smiles up at him. “Do you like it?”

Gwilym looks at him, smiling, mouth open as he wants to speak but can’t get the words out. 

Ben starts to blush a little and he looks away, but Gwilym grabs his hand again.

“You look beautiful,” Gwilym says quietly, and he leans down to give him a quick, but gentle, kiss. “I don’t know how you’re so shy around me and so cocky on the red carpet.”

Ben scoffs. “Because I don’t give a fuck about red carpets,” he replies. He leans up and kisses Gwil again, tugging him down. He lets Gwil push him against the counter, groaning softly. 

“I’m not going to fuck you while our best friends are standing out there, probably with their _ears pressed against the door_ ,” Gwilym says, raising his voice at the end, and he can hear Allen and Joe snickering softly. 

“You could suck me off, couldn’t you?” Ben asks softly, tilting his head to the side, biting down on his lip. “I think it’d really help my nerves.”

“Ben,” Gwilym says warningly, and Ben just grins. 

“Okay, fine,” Ben says, and he reaches out for the door knob, but Gwilym stops him.

Gwilym opens the door and steps out, blocking Ben from Allen and Joe. “Gentlemen, please allow me to introduce to you, SAG-award nominee, Roger Taylor impersonator, drummer extraordinaire, Ben Jones!”

Ben sighs and rolls his eyes as Gwilym steps out of the doorway, and he gives an Allen and Joe a bit of a wave. 

“I _love_ the jacket,” Allen says immediately, and Joe smiles at him.

“Handsome as ever, Benny,” Joe says. “Though, you _did_ get the memo, right? We’re all supposed to be in black?”

“Threw that memo out, I’d say,” Allen says.

“Decided to take a page out of the John Deacon handbook, Joe, I thought you’d like that,” Ben says, smoothing down the front of his jacket, doing a couple playful poses. “Why match the band when you can wear the ugliest pink shirt on the planet?”

Gwilym and Allen both snort with laughter. “Hey, I loved that shirt,” Joe replies, but he’s smiling. “I gotta respect it though, you’re gonna stand out.”

Ben smiles, and then takes a deep breath. “Guys, we’re going to the Oscars,” he says suddenly, looking back and forth between the other three. Like, is it only him whose mind is blown right now?

“I can’t fucking believe it,” Gwilym mutters, looking down as he starts to nervously pace around the room. “God, I can’t believe it. I mean, we’re in a fucking Best Picture nominee! Guys, how did this happen?”

“You know, this isn’t my first Best Picture—” Joe starts, getting cut off by Allen pushing him. “Hey, be gentle! I’m sensitive!”

“There’s nobody else I’d rather do this with,” Ben says. “This is going to be fucking brilliant.”

“Win or lose,” Joe nods in agreement.

“I think we already won,” Gwilym says, and he knows it’s cheesy, he can feel the other three trying not to roll their eyes at him, but he’s right. And they know it.

\+ + + + +

The entire red carpet is a blur. It’s every premiere, awards show, event they’ve ever been to, amplified. Ben can’t believe how many people are there, how much press there is, all the _real_ celebrities that are walking by him, people that he’s been a fan of for years. And he’s there with them. They pose for something called a Glamoscope or a Glambot, Ben has _no_ idea except that he’s sure they all look ridiculous. An interviewer says Roger was smart to cast someone so much better looking than him, and Ben can’t believe his ears. And there he is, admitting to the entire world that he’d go gay for Roger in the 1970s. Once they’re away from the mic, Gwil whispers _’naughty’_ in his ear, and Ben just smiles. That’s alright though, it felt like a very Roger thing to say.

It only stings a little when interviewers ask them what it will be like to say goodbye to the film, and to each other. Allen mentions Gwilym flying out the next day, and Ben has to look away.

They’re in the back of the auditorium when Queen and Adam perform; they don’t have actual seats, so they’re just pressed against the back wall, and even still, Ben can barely contain his excitement. He claps to the beat, never speeding up, and the four of them are just giddy with it. They made this movie. They played these songs. They played these _people_. They start loudly singing along to ‘We Are The Champions’, and Ben feels like his heart could burst, the four of them with their arms over each others shoulders, swaying together. It’s not _quite_ the best night of his life, he thinks, looking up at Gwilym and briefly nuzzling his cheek against his shoulder, but it’s pretty fucking close.

And it only gets better. Once the actual show starts, the four of them slip out to the bar, drinking the night away and watching the awards on the monitors. They’re constantly texting Rami and Lucy, even though they know both of them are in the front row and shouldn’t be checking their phones. Then _Bohemian Rhapsody_ wins its first Oscar, and its second just a moment later. They cheer loudly, clink their glasses, and they can feel even more excitement bubbling up. John Rottman wins the third Oscar, and the four of them can’t stop buzzing. Graham and Jim come out to meet with them a couple times, grabbing a drink and chatting. If _BoRhap_ ends up winning Best Picture, Graham wants them to leave the bar and come up on stage with all them. They all finally start to consider the possibility that it might happen.

When Gary Oldman and Allison Janney come out on stage, all of their phones get put down, no more commenting on their Instagrams. They put their drinks down too, because all of their hands are shaking too much to hold them.

Ben reaches out to grab Gwilym’s hand, trying to stop himself from shaking, squeezing him tightly. Gary Oldman’s got the fucking red envelope in his hand and all four of them feel like they’re about to die from nerves.

They read Rami’s name, and the four of them fucking explode. They cheer _so_ loudly, they can only assume that everybody in the auditorium can hear them too. Allen and Joe pull each other into a hug, and Gwilym wraps his arms around Ben, chest pressed against his back, pulling him in close. Joe and Allen wrap their arms around him too, and they all stand there for a moment together, unbelievably happy. When Joe and Allen pull back, Gwilym doesn’t, and Ben stands there, listening to Rami’s speech, hands resting on Gwilym’s. When Rami thanks them, Gwilym squeezes him softly.

“Is he going to propose to her?” Joe asks near the end of Rami’s speech, looking around at them wildly. “What the fuck is happening right now?”

Ben laughs loudly, shaking in Gwil’s arms. He has to admit, he was thinking it too, but he knows Rami would never do it. “I can’t believe he won,” he says softly, turning his head to look at Gwil.

Gwilym smiles back at him. “Really? You can’t?”

Ben shrugs. “Okay yeah, I can,” he replies. He squeezes Gwilym’s arms, and just leans against him. “I’m so fucking happy for him,” he says softly, and he sniffles, reaching up to wipe at his eyes.

Joe reaches out and grabs Ben’s shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze. When Ben looks over at him, Joe’s eyes are filled with tears too. Ben just starts to laugh, and all four of them start cheering and clapping again.

 _BoRhap_ won four awards already, more than anybody else so far, so they all start to feel a little jittery, like _maybe_ it could actually win the fifth. They all down their drinks with still-shaky hands, and start pacing by the door, just in case they have to rush in. Ben’s stomach twists a bit when their movie isn’t announced, and he takes a deep shaky breath, but the four of them all embrace anyway, because at this point, it really doesn’t matter. 

They move back from the door, and wait for the ceremony to end. They all pile into a car together, maybe squeezed together a bit too tightly, and head to the after-party. The first time they see Rami, they all crowd around him, almost too excited for words. Ben pulls him in tightly, on the verge of tears, and tells him exactly how proud of him he is. Proud to be his friend, his costar, just proud to know him. Rami smiles and claps him on the back happily. Ben can’t stop grinning.

Rami lets all of them hold the statue, and Ben turns it over in his hands, examining it closely. He feels the weight of it, and thinks how much he’d like to have one of them someday. He looks over at Gwilym and raises the Oscar, smiling. 

“Looks good on you,” Gwilym whispers in his ear, and Ben laughs.

“Maybe you first,” Ben replies, handing it to him. “You’re older.”

Gwilym shrugs, lifting the Oscar up. “A matching set for the mantle?” he asks, and Ben just nods.

They take _so_ many photos, and drink _so_ many drinks, talk to _so_ many people. Ben stumbles over to a space by the wall where there’s no one else, and digs out his phone. A notification reminder for their flight comes up, and Ben sighs. He glances over at Joe, thinking about how he said he’d take them to the airport in the morning, but he seems a little too out of it now; he’s had a glass in his hand every time Ben’s seen him. Ben checks the time. They should be back at their hotel, if they plan on getting _any_ sleep. Plus, Ben is still jet-lagged.

“Having fun?” Allen asks, sliding up alongside him.

Ben nods and slips his phone back into his pocket. “Just checking the time.”

“You’ve got a flight to catch,” Allen says, nodding slowly.

“Mm, yeah,” Ben says absentmindedly.

“Not yet, though, right?” Allen asks, and he squeezes Ben’s shoulder. Ben looks up at him, and Allen’s beaming at him. Ben can’t help but grin back. “Let’s get back out there!” Allen cheers, and for a moment it’s like Ben is watching the scene of Freddie’s party all over again. Ben laughs, and lets Allen lead him back to the rest of them. He’ll worry about sleep later.

\+ + + + +

All three of them feel like death, standing in the airport. Ben doesn’t know about Joe, but he knows he and Gwil got absolutely _zero_ sleep; by the time they left the party and made it back to their hotel, it was practically almost time to get back up again anyway.

Ben sways a bit on his feet, about to fall asleep standing up, and Joe reaches out to steady him. “Thanks, mate,” he murmurs. He could really go for a smoke right about now.

“So,” Joe says, and he takes a deep breath. “This is it.” He sniffles.

“Is he crying?” Gwilym asks quietly, and Ben sighs, before pulling Joe into a hug.

Joe sniffles again and buries his face in Ben’s neck, holding him close.

Ben knows every feeling and insecurity Joe is experiencing right now because he’s feeling them the exact same way. “You know we’re not done being friends,” Ben assures him, “just because _this_ is done. You’re one of my best mates now, for forever, okay?” If Joe were the one telling him this, Ben isn’t sure he’d believe him, but he hopes he can convince Joe.

Joe nods like he understands, but the way his shoulders are shaking makes both Ben and Gwil think that he still doesn’t.

Ben sighs and squeezes Joe tightly, smiling over at Gwil. He sort of feels like Joe’s their kid, and they’re trying to drop him off at his first day of school or something, instead of him just taking them to the airport.

Gwil reaches out and squeezes Joe’s shoulder. “We love you, Joe,” he says. “And, yeah, maybe we’re gonna see each other a little less in person, but that doesn’t change anything. We’ve had the best time in the world with you. No one’s gonna forget that.”

“It’s stupid,” Joe mutters, pulling back to wipe at his eyes. “You don’t get it.”

“Joe,” Gwil says carefully, eyes flicking over to meet Ben’s for a moment, “are you…”

“I’m fine,” Joe says, sniffling again. “I’m just being overdramatic, as usual.”

“I was going to say, are you in love with Ben,” Gwil finishes, and both Ben and Joe look at him with huge frowns on their faces. “What?” Gwil says in surprise. “I think it’s a fair question! Don’t look at me like that, I was just asking.”

Joe smiles and looks at Ben, playfully leaning in to give him a kiss before Ben laughs loudly and pushes Joe away. “ _No_ , I’m not in love with Ben, you asshole,” Joe says, turning to Gwil, giving him a playful shove.

Ben smiles, and looks at Gwil. “He’s in love with you, mate.”

“Oh god, Gwil, I’ve wanted to say something for so long,” Joe says, reaching up to take Gwil’s face in his hands before Gwil ducks away from him. “Wait, come back my love, I have to confess my feelings for you! I’ve wanted you since Live Aid!”

Ben and Joe look at each other and start laughing loudly as Gwil just rolls his eyes.

“Okay, fine,” Gwil says, “see if I ever try to be nice to you again! I was just trying to help.”

Joe smiles and shakes his head. “No, Gwil, I’m not in love with Ben. Or _you_ , for that matter. I’m just bummed out. You guys have been this huge part of my life for like a year-and-a-half, I mean, you were there for me with my dad, you were there for everything. I’m just not— I don’t know, I’m not ready to say goodbye to it yet. And then you guys are living in London, and now Rami’s looking for a place there too, and I’m stuck over here like an asshole, alone. What am I supposed to do?”

“Visit us all the time,” Ben says, “I _told_ you. Use that _Jurassic Park_ money, I know you got it.”

“Can’t we all just make another movie together?” Joe asks hopefully. “I’m not really sure what type of story needs a Welsh giant, a buff twink, and a really sexy ginger, but we can look, right? Maybe I can write it myself.”

Ben’s mouth drops open and he turns to look at Gwilym in shock. “A— a— Gwil, did you hear what he just called me?” he asks.

Gwilym ignores Ben and reaches out, taking Joe’s shoulders in his hands, facing him squarely. “Joe, you’re as important to us as we are to you.”

“Oh, so not at all then,” Joe says sarcastically, “because I don’t care about _you_ guys at a—”

Gwilym interrupts him, no time for bullshit jokes right now. “This has been the best year-and-a-half of my life, and I’m not going to let a stupid thing like the Atlantic Ocean get in the way of hanging out with my best mates, okay? So what? The movie is done, the press is done, the awards are over. I don’t give a shit. We’re not saying goodbye to _anything_ , I promise. I really do. You can’t get rid of us that easily.”

Joe smiles up at Gwilym, takes a deep breath, and then pulls him into a huge hug. “Thank you,” he says softly, pressing his cheek to Gwilym’s chest.

“Joe, did you really think we were going to let you get away from us?” Gwilym asks. “Because we’re not. I promise. We’ll always be here, swear it.”

“Okay, I believe you,” Joe replies, squeezing Gwil once more before stepping back.

“Yeah?” Gwilym asks, and Joe nods once.

“Yeah,” Joe agrees. “I’m good.” He shakes out his body, trying to restart and get rid of his tears. “Whew yeah, I’m good. Okay. Not gonna be a hot mess, not gonna get kicked out of the airport. I’m gonna do this.”

Ben reaches out and squeezes the back of Joe’s neck, then pulls him again for another quick hug. “Thank you for everything,” he whispers in his ear, eyes flicking over to Gwilym. “I owe you.”

Joe smiles and nods, pulling back. “Damn right you do. Every time you get laid for the rest of your life, I want you to think of me.”

“A bit much,” Ben replies, “but I get it.” He smiles and shakes his head.

“Alright,” Joe says, taking a deep breath. “Okay, if I don’t let you guys go now, you’re gonna miss your flight, and then you’ll be stuck here forever.” He smiles hopefully at the two of them. “Which would be _awful_.”

“We’ll let you know when we land,” Gwilym assures him, and he pulls Joe in again. “Don’t have too much fun without us, alright?” He squeezes him once more and then steps back, giving him a smile that’s just a bit more sad than happy.

Ben reaches down to grab his bag and waves at Joe as they start walking away.

“I’ll never forget you!” Joe shouts after them, and Ben smiles and rolls his eyes, but his stomach twists a little bit too, like he’s already homesick. Except it isn’t England he’s missing. He sighs, and wishes desperately that he could reach out and take Gwil’s hand as they head towards security. _God_ he really wishes he could.

When Gwil glances over at him, barely trying to give him a smile, Ben knows he feels the same.

\+ + + + +

The flight back to England isn’t nearly as fun as the flight to Los Angeles. They’re both tired, a bit hungover, and honestly sad to think about what they’re leaving behind them now that the Oscars are done. Ben isn’t a great flier to begin with; he can’t focus enough on the television (at least not the one in front of him, but he’ll always try to watch whatever the person a couple rows ahead of him is watching), he can’t read for fear of getting motion sick, and he feels anxious for most of it, so he usually just ends up staring ahead, not focused on anything, just hoping nothing goes wrong. Sometimes he can focus on music, but the flight is just _so_ long. He wishes he could get up and walk around. He wishes he could curl up against Gwil and just let his eyes close.

He looks over at Gwilym, whose television screen is on, but Gwil isn’t watching it. He’s got his eyes closed, arms folded across his chest, mouth hanging open slightly, head curled towards the window. Ben wants to wake him, not even to talk but just so that he knows that he’s there, but he thinks that’d probably be a dick move. Gwil probably wouldn’t say anything, but Ben knows how tired he was. He just wishes he could get comfortable and fall asleep too. Instead he just pulls up his hood and turns up his music, sinking down in his seat. He starts gnawing on his thumb, torn between wishing he was back home and wishing that he was still in California.

When Gwil comes to a couple hours later, he looks over at Ben, who’s managed to drift off, body twisted uncomfortably, thumb still stuck in his mouth. He sighs and reaches over, carefully tugging on Ben’s hand, trying to get him to release the digit. He does, but as his arm falls down against his chest, Ben just groans and turns even further away from him. “Ben?” Gwil asks quietly. He doesn’t want to wake him, not exactly, because if Ben’s really that tired, he wants him to get some sleep, but the look on his face is almost one of pain, and Gwilym doesn’t want Ben to wake up feeling like shit. Gwilym glances around and then stands up, walking over to Ben’s side of the seat, leaning down a bit. “Hey, Ben,” he says, reaching out to gently shake his leg.

Ben quickly jerks awake, eyes wide; he looks surprised to be awake and confused as to where he is. He looks up at Gwilym with relief, taking a deep breath.

“You alright?” Gwilym asks quietly, and Ben nods. He reaches up, pushing his hood off, running his fingers through his hair a couple times. “You didn’t look that great.”

“I’m okay,” Ben replies, voice rough. He clears his throat a couple times. “I wasn’t feeling well. Just want to get home and into bed.”

Gwilym smiles and nods. “Me too. I know it’s a long flight, but we’ll be home soon.”

“How much longer?” Ben asks, shifting in his seat, trying to get comfortable.

Gwilym sighs. “A few more hours.”

Ben reaches up to rub at his eyes, staring off at something past Gwil. “I’m just tired.”

“I know,” Gwilym says, and he shifts a bit closer to him. “Do you want to do anything? Watch a movie? Come sit with me.”

Ben smiles and scoffs, eyes flicking back to Gwil. “You mean on your lap again?” he asks.

Gwilym smiles back and shrugs. “Just for a bit. Come on, nobody cares.”

“There’s not enough room,” Ben says, but Gwil just sighs and looks down at him expectantly. 

“We’ll make room,” Gwilym says, stepping back to his own seat, dropping down, and then waiting for Ben to come sit with him.

Ben groans and pushes himself up, walking over to Gwilym, looking around before carefully sitting down, curled up on Gwil’s lap. “I’m too heavy for this,” he murmurs, but Gwilym just wraps his arms around him and squeezes him to his chest. Ben takes a deep breath and sighs, snuggling against Gwil, head tucked under Gwil’s chin. He knows he can’t stay there for long; either they’ll tick off the flight attendant or Gwil will lose all circulation in his legs, and who knows who might be paying attention to them, but for right now, he feels better than he has since they left Joe in the airport. The knots in his stomach start to untwist a bit, and he feels like _maybe_ their life post- _BoRhap_ will be alright.

\+ + + + +

Ben slowly drags his luggage behind him as they make their way through Gwilym’s flat into the bedroom. Ben’s body feels heavy and tired, and as soon as he sees Gwil’s bed he could cry. He immediately lets go of his bag and walks over to the mattress, collapsing onto it. He toes off his sneakers and then wiggles up the bed, pushing his face into the pillow. He hears Gwilym drop his luggage behind him, but doesn’t feel the shift on the mattress he’s expecting. Instead, he hears Gwil’s footsteps, and then a short time later hears the shower turn on. Ben groans, and rolls onto his back. He knows he needs a shower, he always needs a shower after he flies, but he can barely make himself move. His entire body is aching. He keeps staring up at the ceiling until he opens his eyes and sees Gwil standing next to him, freshly showered, towel wrapped around his waist. Ben realizes he’d fallen asleep, and looks up at Gwil.

“Any hot water left?” he asks quietly, and Gwil smiles down at him.

“Just enough, I’m sure,” Gwilym replies. He walks over to his side of the bed and unwraps the towel, dropping it to the floor before climbing into the bed, sliding in-between the sheets. He groans softly.

Ben groans next, wishing he could get in next to him, but he knows that he’s really got to at least rinse off. He struggles for a moment to push himself up, and stumbles into the bathroom. He’s slow to take his clothes off, leaving them on the floor where they fall, but as soon as he steps under the hot spray he doesn’t regret a thing.

By the time he makes it back into the bedroom, Gwilym is fast asleep. Ben carefully climbs in next to him, and it feels like he falls asleep immediately too.

\+ + + + +

It’s like Ben has no concept of time when he wakes up. He feels like he slept for so long, it could be days later for all he knows. He opens his eyes, turning to the window; a car just started below it, that’s what interrupted his sleep. It’s light out, so he assumes it’s Tuesday morning. Neither of them bothered to set an alarm. He groans and carefully turns his body so he can look over Gwilym, who’s still absolutely passed out. Ben wants to curl against him, bury his face in Gwilym’s chest and never get out of bed again, but he also doesn’t want to disturb him. He watches him for a few moments longer, smiling at Gwilym’s gentle snoring, and just lets the feeling sink in. A _huge_ part of his life is now officially over. But here he is, and another pretty huge part of his life seems like it’s just about to start.

Ben shifts on the mattress, tugging the sheets up around his shoulders. He hasn’t been back to his own apartment in days, and he’s not really eager to go back now, either. He and Gwil haven’t talked about it, and he feels like objectively it is _too soon_ , but he can’t imagine leaving Gwil to go back to his place today, or tomorrow even. Unless Gwil wants to come with him, but honestly, Ben prefers Gwil’s place over his.

Ben yawns loudly, and then carefully sits up, feet dropping onto the floor. As he’s about to stand up, he feels Gwilym’s hand on his wrist. He looks back in surprise.

“Where you going?” Gwilym murmurs, still half-asleep by the sounds (and look) of him.

Ben smiles. “Just the living room,” he says. “Go back to sleep.”

“Mmm,” Gwilym groans, and he lets Ben’s wrist slip through his hand, rolling over onto his stomach. Just like that, he’s out again.

Ben laughs softly and grabs his phone off the bedside table. He walks over to his bag, still left in the middle of the floor by the door, slowly unzipping it. He grabs a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, tugging them both on, then walks out of the room. He finally checks the time, realizing it’s actually Tuesday afternoon, and grabs a drink and a snack before collapsing down onto the sofa. He opens his messages, sees a dozen notifications from Joe, laughing as he scrolls through them. He texts out a few replies, answering the questions Joe asked, and sends a selfie of himself laying back on the couch, apple in his mouth, saying _‘sweet memories’_.

He starts going through photos people have sent him from the red carpet, saving some, sending others to the rest of the group. He still can’t believe he went to the fucking _Oscars_ , and there’s actual photographic evidence of it. He thinks about calling Joe, but knows it’d be too early there, so he just tosses his phone to the side and curls up on his side, turning on the television. After awhile, he feels a bit of a chill, just in his boxers and t-shirt, and pushes himself up, quietly walking back into the bedroom. He kneels down by his bag, digging out a pair of sweatpants. He straightens up and starts to pull them on as he glances over at the bed, surprised to see Gwilym watching him. “Hey, you’re up,” Ben says, dropping the sweatpants on the floor, walking over to the bed, sitting down on the edge.

“Barely,” Gwilym murmurs, stretching out under the sheets, arms above his head. “What time is it?” he asks.

“Around 3:30 now,” Ben replies.

“Jesus, we slept forever,” Gwilym says, chuckling softly in disbelief. “God, I need a coffee.”

“I can make it,” Ben offers. “Or I can go grab you one?”

Gwilym shakes his head and pushes himself up a bit, leaning against the headboard. “No, I’m fine,” he replies, yawning loudly.

Ben climbs up onto the mattress and snuggles against Gwilym’s side, smiling. “Morning,” he says softly, leaning in to give him a kiss.

“Good morning,” Gwilym chuckles, wrapping his arm around Ben’s shoulders. “How’d you sleep?”

“Like the dead,” Ben replies. “Let’s see what time I get to sleep tonight.”

“You could always come back to bed now,” Gwilym says quietly, reaching up to run his fingers through Ben’s hair.

“Mm, I’m fine now,” Ben says, and Gwilym rolls his eyes, smiling.

“Not really what I meant, Ben,” Gwilym says, laughing softly.

Ben looks up at him, smiling. “Oh,” he says, feeling dumb. “You sure you’re awake enough for that?” he asks.

Gwilym nods and pulls Ben in for a kiss. He runs his hand up and down Ben’s back, pulling him in closer. 

“Just one sec,” Ben says, pulling away from Gwilym, rolling off the bed. He hurries over to his bag, digging through the pockets to find the lube and condoms they’d taken to LA. He tosses them on the end of the bed and then tugs his t-shirt over his head. He pushes his boxers down and then crawls back onto the bed. He tugs Gwilym into a kiss, moaning against him.

Gwilym keeps his mouth on Ben’s as he shoves the blankets off his lap and then eagerly grabs at Ben’s waist, pulling him towards him.

Ben swallows hard as he settles on Gwilym’s lap, feeling him press against him.

“I love you,” Gwil says, and Ben pulls back to say it as well, already a bit breathless. Gwilym smiles in response and then starts to shift on the bed, pushing Ben down onto his back.

“Wait,” Ben murmurs, his mouth against Gwil’s, holding his face in his hands. “Can I…” he asks, eyes nervously flicking away from Gwil’s.

“Can you?” Gwil presses, holding Ben’s hips, leaning forward to press his mouth against Ben’s chest.

“Can I ride you?” Ben asks, his voice a bit shaky.

Gwil pulls back and meets Ben’s eyes, smiling brightly. “Yeah?” he asks, and Ben blushes and nods. 

Since the BAFTAs, they’ve been doing their part to make up for lost time; once or twice, Gwilym has tugged Ben onto his lap, but after making out or stroking each other, Ben ends up dropping to the mattress, rolling off Gwil onto his back. A couple times, Gwil has pulled Ben up by his hips and fucked into him from behind, usually after a repeat performance of their first night together, leaving Ben to clutch at the mattress beneath him. But so far, there’s really nothing Ben likes more than the weight of Gwil on top of him, pushing him down into the mattress, mouths moving together, sharing a breath as Gwilym takes him in hand. More than once, Gwil has whispered in his ear, “you’d look so pretty on top of me,” or “I bet you’d be so good,” making Ben flush and groan with the idea of it. But Ben remembers the first time he’d slept with a girl and she’d been on top, how nervous she’d been. Ben had assured her it would be okay, more than okay, and it was, but now, years later, those same nerves have cropped up in him.

“Yeah, I want to try,” Ben replies, and he reaches back to the end of the bed where he’d set the lube, one hand still holding onto the back of Gwil’s neck.

Gwil bites down, watching the arch and stretch of Ben’s body as he leans back, his muscles shifting. “Jesus, you’re beautiful,” he murmurs, and he moves his hand from Ben’s hip to run over his stomach. 

Ben settles back onto Gwil’s lap, then looks down at the lube in his hand, then meets Gwil’s eyes.

“Do you want to?” Gwil asks. He’s more than ready to take it from Ben if he asks, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about Ben fucking himself on his fingers while Gwil just sits back and watches.

“Uh,” Ben swallows hard, Adam’s apple bobbing, and he looks at Gwil again. “It’s easier for you,” he says softly, and he pushes the tube into Gwil’s hands.

“Okay,” Gwil says, and he wraps his left arm around Ben’s waist, shifting him on his lap a bit. He flicks open the cap and shifts the tube into his left hand so that he can squeeze it onto the fingers of his right hand. “You alright?” he asks, dropping the tube onto the bed so he can squeeze at Ben’s waist.

“I’m good,” Ben replies, shifting his weight a bit to spread his legs a bit further as Gwil starts pressing his fingers against him. He gasps as two of Gwil’s digits push inside him, and his head tilts back a bit. He’s got his right arm wrapped around Gwilym’s waist, and his left hand is braced against his chest as he starts to rock against him a bit.

Gwilym leans forward and captures Ben’s mouth in his, tugging at his bottom lip until his mouth falls open and Gwil can slip his tongue inside. Ben slides his hand up Gwil’s chest, somehow in love with the feeling of his chest hair against him, and cups the back of Gwil’s neck, pulling him in for a fervent kiss, his moans lost to Gwil’s mouth.

Gwil lets Ben take the lead on the kiss, trying to keep most of his attention focused on stretching him open, his fingers thrusting in and out with the rhythm of Ben’s tongue against his. He twists his wrist a bit so that he can press harder, and Ben groans loudly against him, pulling back for a moment to whimper and catch his breath. “You take my fingers so well,” he whispers, mouth hot against Ben’s ear, and Ben clutches desperately at him, the scratch of Gwil’s stubble against him driving him insane. “Is three okay now?”

Ben nods eagerly, kissing him again, pushing his fingers through Gwil’s hair, tugging him in. There’s a bit of a burn as Gwil’s fingers push back in, and Ben whimpers, but he starts rocking against him in earnest now, practically riding Gwil’s hand.

“You gonna ride my cock like this?” Gwilym asks, ducking his head to nip at Ben’s throat, and Ben nods, moaning on top of him. “You’ve gotten so good at this,” he murmurs, mouth moving over Ben’s skin, “so good at taking me.”

Ben wraps his arms around Gwil’s shoulders, pulling him in as close as he can, needing to feel Gwil pressed against him. His fingers dig and clutch at him. Sometimes Gwil’s words make him feel overheated and close to coming; sometimes they make him burn red with embarrassment, but right now, as unbelievably turned on as he feels, the nerves are still just below the surface. If he’s going to do this, he needs to know if he’s doing it well. And Gwil’s not one to keep praise to himself.

“Just a bit more,” Gwil says, and he lets go of Ben’s waist to grab the lube again, drizzling it onto his three fingers, then pumping them back in and out, slowly. “It’s going to be a bit different, love.”

“Uh-huh,” Ben nods, but he’s not really sure by what Gwil means by that, other than the obvious. He clutches at Gwil, practically collapsed against his chest, using his thighs to push himself up and down on Gwilym’s fingers.

“You tell me if it’s too much,” Gwil says, and he meets Ben’s eyes, leaning in to give him a gentle kiss, much softer than before.

“I will,” Ben promises, and the moment that passes between them feels much sweeter than what they’re doing.

“I love you,” Gwil says, fingers curling and pressing hard inside Ben.

“Uh-huh,” Ben nods, crying out. He falls back a bit, shifting his weight to clutch at Gwil’s thigh, and he takes a deep shaky breath. He doesn’t think he can actually come from just Gwil’s fingers, but it sure as hell feels like he can, and he needs a moment to steady himself and clear his thoughts before replying. “I love you too,” he says, “so much.”

Gwil smiles and kisses Ben again. “You’re not just saying that because I’m about to fuck you?” he asks teasingly.

Ben laughs in surprise and shakes his head. “I’d love you even if you never fucked me again,” he says, smiling brightly. He cups Gwilym’s face in his hands and tugs him in for a kiss. “You’re absolutely stuck with me,” he says.

“Lucky me,” Gwilym replies softly, running his left hand up and down Ben’s back soothingly as he keeps thrusting into him with his right. “For how long?” he asks, and Ben smiles.

“As long as you’ll have me,” Ben says, and he turns his head to the side to suddenly whimper into Gwil’s collarbone, panting against his skin.

“Forever then,” Gwilym murmurs into Ben’s ear, and Ben swallows hard, heart swelling. He has to squeeze his eyes shut just to prepare himself against any oncoming tears, and he takes a couple deep breaths. “That alright?” Gwil asks, and Ben nods eagerly.

“Brilliant,” he replies softly, and he smiles when he feels Gwil kiss him on the neck. 

“Do you think you’re ready?” Gwil asks, and Ben slowly shakes his head, dragging his cheek against Gwil’s chest as he does. “No?” he asks.

“No,” Ben replies, and he bites down on his lip, trying not to smile. “You should just keep doing this forever.”

“Ugh, lazy arse,” Gwilym says, and he laughs, carefully sliding his fingers out of Ben. “Grab a condom,” he directs, and Ben sighs as he leans back to grab one. He holds it out to Gwil, but he doesn’t take it. “I think _you_ can do the rest of the work from here, don’t you?” he asks.

Ben sighs and carefully rips open the wrapper, carefully taking it out. He takes Gwil in hand, at first just meaning to hold him as he rolls the condom down, but when Gwil gasps softly, Ben smirks and starts slowly stroking him, meeting Gwil’s eyes.

“Oh, don’t you dare,” Gwil groans, reaching out, pushing his fingers through Ben’s hair.

“What?” Ben asks, cocking his head to the side. He shifts his weight, shuffling back a bit, hand still stroking Gwil as he starts to lean down, mouth opening over him. He looks up when Gwil’s hand tightens in his hair, and he smiles. “Yes?” he asks.

“ _Ben_ ,” Gwilym says, voice tight.

“Use your words, Gwil,” Ben teases, not moving. “Tell me how badly you want it.”

“Ben, you have _no_ idea,” Gwilym says.

“Then _tell me_ ,” Ben says again.

“I want you to ride me,” Gwilym says quickly, and Ben slowly starts to sit up. “I want to fuck you, I want to watch you on top of me, _fuck_ you’re gonna look so pretty on top of me.”

Ben smiles and rolls the condom down onto Gwil, then reaches to grab the lube, squeezing it onto his hand as he strokes him a few more times. “Tell me more,” he says softly, reaching out to take Gwil’s hands, guiding them to his hips as he straddles his waist again.

“Yeah?” Gwil asks, squeezing Ben tight.

Ben nods and reaches back, taking Gwil in hand and pushes himself up a bit, trying to position himself.

“The first time I touched myself thinking about you,” Gwil says, and he starts running one of his hands up and down Ben’s thigh, leaning forward to press his mouth to Ben’s chest, “this is how I imagined you.”

Ben swallows hard and he starts to press down, but Gwil slips against him, and Ben whimpers in embarrassment, nerves bubbling up again.

“Shh, shh,” Gwil whispers, shifting his weight a bit so that he can take his cock in hand, and he slides against Ben a couple times before starting to press inside him. Ben’s breath hitches and he reaches out to grab Gwil by the back of the neck, bracing himself with his other hand on Gwil’s chest as he slowly starts to lower himself onto him. “Alright?” Gwil asks.

Ben nods, but his fingers are painfully digging into Gwil, telling another story. “It’s…” Ben groans, head falling forward, forehead pressed to Gwil’s shoulder. “A lot,” he murmurs.

“I know,” Gwilym assures him, and he wraps his arms around Ben, stroking his back as Ben continues to slowly take him. “You’re doing so well,” he whispers, and he presses a kiss to the top of Ben’s head.

“As good as you imagined?” Ben asks quietly, and Gwil huffs out a quiet laugh.

“Even better,” Gwilym replies. “Take it as slow as you need.”

“Uh-huh,” Ben agrees, and he can already feel the stretch in his legs.

“Put those thick rugby thighs to good use,” Gwilym teases him, and Ben laughs loudly in surprise at the comment. Since their first time, Gwil finds that distracting Ben and making him laugh makes him feel more comfortable. Plus, Gwil thinks, he just loves the sound of Ben’s laugh.

Ben takes a deep, shuddering breath as he settles on Gwilym’s lap, fingers digging into his neck.

“Just go at your own pace,” Gwilym says in Ben’s ear, and Ben nods. “Tell me if you don’t like it.”

Ben swallows hard. “I _do_ like it,” he says, voice a bit shaky. 

“Already?” Gwilym asks, and Ben nods again.

“I like being this close to you,” Ben explains, and he shifts a bit, pushing himself up a bit and letting himself sink back down. He whimpers, biting down on his lip. “So big,” he murmurs, leaning forward to press his mouth to Gwilym’s chest, and he starts to rock back and forth on Gwilym, trying to get the right angle. He wraps his arms around Gwilym’s shoulders, and shifts his weight again, gasping against Gwilym’s mouth.

“There?” Gwilym asks, and Ben nods quickly. “How do you want it?” he asks, giving him a kiss.

“Just whatever’s okay for you,” Ben replies, and Gwilym laughs breathlessly.

“It’s all going to be _amazing_ for me, don’t worry,” Gwilym assures him. He grips at Ben’s waist and starts to thrust up into him.

Ben’s head tilts back and he cries out. His hand shoots out to grip at the headboard, using it to brace himself as he starts to move his hips in time with Gwilym’s thrusts. “Oh god,” he whines, whimpering as Gwilym’s hips work into him. “Fuck, Gwil, fuck.”

“That good?” Gwilym asks, and he laughs when Ben can’t answer him. “God you’re so tight,” he murmurs, reaching between them to start stroking Ben.

Ben gasps, forehead pressed against Gwilym’s shoulder. His thighs are tight with the strain of lifting himself up on Gwilym over and over, and he knows he’s going to be shaky on them afterward, but the stretch of Gwilym inside him, being able to be so close to him, it’s all worth it. He lifts his head and reaches up, stroking his fingers over Gwil’s cheek, smiling at him.

“Good?” Gwilym asks again, moaning as he thrusts up.

“Yeah,” Ben replies, starting to gently bounce up and down on his lap. “It’s good.”

Gwilym smiles and presses his lips to Ben’s, the kiss much softer than the movement of their bodies. “I can’t believe you’re mine,” he whispers, and he runs one hand up Ben’s chest, over the curves of his abdominal muscles and pecs, “all this for me.”

Ben nods, smiling against Gwilym’s mouth. “Gonna keep me?” he asks, and Gwilym nods, groaning softly. “What are you going to do with me then?” Gwilym chuckles and with his hand still working over Ben, thrusts up sharply. He laughs again when Ben gasps and whines loudly.

“I can think of a few things,” Gwilym murmurs, and he thrusts up again, hand moving over Ben even faster. He slides his hand down to Ben’s ass, squeezing it gently, and starts helping to guide him up and down, faster and faster.

Ben follows his movements for awhile, basically unable to close his mouth, he can’t stop the noises that are falling out. But after sometime, he reaches down to grasp onto Gwil’s wrist, panting, “wait, wait.”

Gwilym stops moving almost immediately. “What’s wrong?” he asks quickly, studying Ben’s face, trying to see if he’s upset or in pain.

Ben just smiles and shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says quickly, “nothing, I just— it’s a lot,” he says, tongue coming out to wet his lips. “Can we slow down? I—” he swallows hard. “Can we slow down?” is all he can say again.

“Of course,” Gwilym says, and he slides his hands back up to Ben’s hips, starting to thrust up again at a much slower pace, but with all the force still behind it. Each thrust sends a sharp stab of pleasure up through Ben. He strokes Ben a bit faster than his hips are moving, but not by much. “I’m sorry,” he says softly.

“No,” Ben shakes his head, closing his eyes, pressing his forehead to Gwil’s. “It wasn’t bad,” he assures him. “I just like this.” He sighs, rocking gently against him. “It’s nice like this.”

Gwilym ducks his head down and starts kissing Ben’s neck, mouth moving over him slowly. Right now, he loves nothing more than the sound of Ben panting in his ear.

After minutes on end, it seems, Ben reaches up to grip at the back of Gwilym’s head, and he groans loudly. He doesn’t even have time to tell Gwil he’s coming before he does, and Gwil can feel him on his stomach and his hand.

Ben gasps with each thrust, and Gwil carefully lets go of him. He brings his hand up to his mouth, and quickly licks the couple of spots clean, and then Ben kisses him, moaning softly against him. Gwilym wraps his arms around Ben and squeezes him in his arms as he comes, groaning in his ear. He thrusts up erratically for a few moments longer, before his hips finally still, and he collapses back against the headboard.

Ben stays wrapped up in his arms for maybe a minute, trying to catch his breath, before he carefully pushes himself up, and reaches back to grasp onto Gwilym as he slides off him. Ben makes a pathetic whimper before collapsing onto his side on the bed, chest still rising and falling quickly. He reaches down, rubbing his hands up and down his thighs, feeling them shaking a bit.

Gwilym reaches down and carefully takes off the condom, grabbing a tissue to wrap it in before getting up and dropping it in the bin. He climbs back onto the bed carefully, curling up on his side, head propped up on his hand so that he can look down at Ben. He starts running his fingers up and down Ben’s chest, watching him shiver.

Ben smiles dreamily up at him, reaching up to push his fingers through Gwil’s hair.

“I love you,” Gwilym says, taking Ben’s hand in his, bringing it up to his mouth.

Ben keeps smiling and nods. “So I’ve heard.” He laughs when Gwilym makes a face. “I love you, too.” He pushes himself up to give Gwilym a short kiss, then collapses back onto the bed.

“Shower?” Gwilym asks, and Ben nods.

“Yeah, in a second,” Ben replies, stretching out on the bed, arms above his head.

Gwilym lowers himself down, resting his head on Ben’s chest. He takes a deep breath, and turns his head, pressing his mouth to Ben’s sternum.

Ben chuckles and presses a kiss to the top of Gwil’s head, starting to run his hand up and down Gwilym’s back.

“I’ve been thinking,” Gwilym says softly, nuzzling against Ben.

“Mm?”

Gwilym shifts a bit so he can look up and meet Ben’s eyes. “Let me know what you think, okay?”

“Okay,” Ben says, shifting under Gwilym’s gaze, feeling the mood turn more serious.

“Did you want to grab a bite to eat tonight?” Gwilym asks, and Ben frowns. 

“Uh, sure,” Ben says, obviously confused, thinking that he’s misunderstood.

“We can come back here to watch a movie, if you want,” Gwilym continues, and Ben just nods.

“Sure, that sounds alright,” Ben agrees.

Gwilym smiles. “And then tomorrow?” he asks.

Ben pauses for a moment, and then shrugs. “Uh, I don’t know. Whatever. I probably have to go to the gym, but I’ll be done before lunch. Did you have something in mind?”

“Yeah, I was thinking we’d swing by your place,” Gwilym replies. Ben doesn’t know where Gwil’s going with this, so he just stays quiet, still moving his fingers up and down his back. “You’re probably almost out of clothes, right?”

Ben bites down on the inside of his lip, trying to not immediately break into a smile, just in case he’s misunderstood. “Ye— yeah,” he agrees, nodding jerkily. “I could grab a couple more things.”

Gwilym smiles and then pushes himself up, leaning in to give Ben a kiss. “Or you could grab more than a couple. I think I’ve got room for _most_ of your things around here. If you want.”

Ben finally smiles, and nods, giving Gwilym another kiss. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Gwilym replies, grinning. “I was thinking about it earlier, and I just— I don’t think I like the idea of waking up without you here.”

“It’s not too soon?” Ben asks nervously, and Gwilym shakes his head.

“I mean, I’ve only been in love with you for a year-and-a-half, but if that’s too soon, we can wait,” Gwilym replies.

Ben shakes his head quickly and sits up, pulling Gwilym into a hug. He buries his face in Gwilym’s neck, trying to hide his huge grin. “No,” he says, “I don’t want to wait.” He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to contain his excitement.

“Good,” Gwilym says, squeezing Ben in his arms. “I think we’ve waited long enough.”

Ben clears his throat and takes a deep breath, pulling back to meet Gwilym’s eyes. He has so much that he wants to say, so much that feels like it’s about to bubble out of his chest, but the first thing he can manage to say is, “Joe’s gonna fucking hate this, so fucking much.”

Gwilym laughs loudly, nodding eagerly. “He really is.” He gives Ben a kiss, and then pulls back, still laughing. “You want me to tell him?” he asks. Ben nods, and Gwilym reaches over to grab his phone, opening the camera. He pulls Ben in, arm wrapped around his shoulder, pressing a kiss to Ben’s temple. Ben closes his eyes and grins as Gwilym takes a photo of them. He watches Gwil send the photo to the group chat, with the caption _‘#newroommates’_.

Ben laughs and rolls his eyes, pulling Gwilym in for another kiss. “Shower now?” he asks, and Gwilym nods. They push themselves off the bed, and walk into the bathroom. Gwilym reaches into the shower to turn on the water, and he sticks his hand under the stream, feeling it heat up. Ben’s about to step into the bathtub when they hear Gwil’s phone ringing. 

“Just a sec,” Gwil says, wiping his hand on his chest to dry it as he walks back into the bedroom, grabbing his phone off the bed. “Hello?” he asks.

“What the actual fuck?”

Gwilym laughs. “Joe! You’re up early.”

“Yeah, I woke up because _some_ asshole just texted me,” Joe snaps. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Nope, not kidding, Joe,” Gwilym says, walking back into the bathroom, where Ben’s already in the shower. “Ben’s moving in with me. At least mostly.”

“What does that mean?” Joe asks. “Let me talk to Ben.”

“It’s for you,” Gwil says, holding out the phone.

Ben shakes his head under the water, working the body wash over his skin. “Who is it?” he asks with a smile, but Gwil just rolls his eyes.

“You know who it is,” he replies, and Ben laughs.

“Tell him I’m busy!”

“Sorry, Joe,” Gwil says, putting the phone back to his ear. “Ben’s showering right now; did you want me to take a message?”

“He’s got you taking his messages for him already?” Joe asks. “Wow. Well. Please tell him that I am _very_ happy for him, and that I can’t wait to come and visit you both. In your apartment. That belongs to both of you.”

Gwilym smiles, crossing his arm across his chest. “That’s it?” he asks.

“I’m happy for you too,” Joe says. “I mean it. I really am.”

“Thank you. I’m happy too,” Gwilym says, shifting on his feet, looking over at Ben.

“I’d love to stay and chat,” Joe says, “but I’m assuming that Ben’s waiting for you in the shower.”

Gwilym smiles. “He is,” he admits.

“Alright, you crazy kids, don’t have too much fun without me,” Joe says. “Talk soon?” he asks hopefully.

“Sure, we’re running out for food, but we’ll call you in a couple hours,” Gwilym assures him. “Told you, you’re not getting rid of us that easily.”

“Good,” Joe says. “Happy to hear it. Bye.”

“Bye,” Gwilym says, ending the phone call. He reaches into the bedroom and tosses it back onto the bed. He walks back into the bathroom and slides open the glass door, stepping inside.  

“What did he say?” Ben asks, turning around, wrapping his arms around Gwil’s shoulders.

“How happy he is for us,” Gwilym replies, and Ben smiles. “Told him we’d ring him later.”

Ben nods and he steps back, pulling Gwil under the water with him. Gwil tilts his head back, letting it run over him. Ben reaches over and grabs the body wash, squeezing it onto his hand. “I’m happy for us too,” Ben says softly, starting to rub the body wash over Gwil’s chest.

Gwilym tilts his head back down, watching Ben with a smile on his face.

Ben steps out of the stream so that the water can hit Gwil’s chest to rinse him off. He looks up. “What?” he asks.

Gwilym just shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says softly.

Ben just rolls his eyes and pushes Gwilym away. “Turn around so I can get your back,” he says, grabbing the body wash again.

Gwilym does as he’s told, and he groans appreciatively as Ben’s hands start working over his back. “That feels amazing,” he says, glancing back at him. When Ben smiles brightly up at him, Gwilym smiles back, and then turns back around. He feels a gentle press of Ben’s mouth against his spine, and Gwil shivers just a bit. “I could get used to this,” he says softly.

“Good,” Ben says, kissing his back again. “So could I.”

**Author's Note:**

> okay, nOW I'm going to go work on that multi-chapter AU I mentioned.
> 
> (I have no idea how these guys actually feel about this part of their lives coming to a close, but I know that if it were me, yeah I'd probably be a little worried that we'd stop being friends and I'd never see them again, it _is_ kind of a big deal. and no angry emails but let me know if you don't like this part because I think I dropped the ball somewhere)


End file.
